


Birthday

by MaggieBee



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday Party, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, Gotham City Sirens, mainly humor, villainous lady friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5925847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggieBee/pseuds/MaggieBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's our favorite jester's special day and this calls for a Girls' Night Out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday

“Only the very best table for Gotham’s most beautiful ladies.”

“Thank you, Oswald”, Ivy cooed with a quick, almost non-noticeable wink, “I knew you would take good care of us.”

Cobblepot nodded his head into her direction, seemingly unfazed by her charms, before he returned his attentions to the blonde next to her.

“And Miss Quinn”, he said in a sickeningly syrupy tone, “I do hope everything will be to your liking today.”

Harley giggled.

“I’m sure it will be, Mr. Cobblepot” she said with a big grin, while Selina rolled her eyes and muttered something to herself that she hoped neither Cobblepot nor the two girls could understand.

She could see how Harley tried not to flinch when he bent forward to grab her hand, and promptly planted a sloppy kiss right on top of it.

“The first drinks will be on the house”, he announced as soon as he had resumed his former stance, “a birthday gift from me and the entire Iceberg Lounge.”

“We’re flattered”, Selina deadpanned before the birthday girl even had the chance to speak, and Ivy quickly stepped in, probably to prevent her from saying anything offensive.

“Three glasses of Champagne, if you would be so kind, Oswald dear.”

“A waiter will be right over”, he assured them in the same sweet tone as before, yet this time his ever-present smile froze a little as it reached Selina.

The three girls watched him take off toward the bar as they took their seats on the blue leather coated corner seat.

“He’s such a slime ball”, Selina uttered under her breath and smoothed out her dress, “you could slip in the trail he leaves behind waddling from here to there.”

“Oh, shush”, Ivy was quick to interfere as she crossed her legs, “maybe his flattery is a little over the top, so what? He’s impressionable.”

The redhead smirked.

“And I’d be careful if I were you, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ozzy had the entire place bugged.”

Selina made a face. Her obvious dislike of Cobblepot aside, the thought of being spied on was one she would gladly have spent the evening without.

“He _did_ buy us champagne”, Harley chirped, “so stop picking on Pengy, will ya?”

“That was the least he could do after he rubbed half his face into your hand”, Selina shuddered, “how’d that feel?”

Harley shot both of her friends a quick frown, that made it quite clear that she was done discussing Cobblepot now; it was her birthday after all. And knowing Harley, there were quite possibly a hundred things she would rather talk about, her birthday covering about ninety-nine of them.

“I’m quite indifferent about the feeling of Pengy’s lips on my hand, thank you very much”, she declared and was quick to move on to more important matters, “alright, so now, what did ya get me, what did ya get me?”

Selina had been teasing Harley about her birthday present all the way from Ivy’s place to the Iceberg Lounge and Harley, being not the most patient person to begin with, had been nagging her all the way from Ivy’s place to the Iceberg Lounge.

“Not so fast, Harls”, Ivy said with a sly grin, “let’s wait for the champagne first, shall we?”

Harley pouted and tried puppy dog eyes on both of her friends without success. Selina smiled to herself. They both had known Harley for way too long to fall for this old trick.

“Oh come on, Red, Kitty, don’t do this to me!”

The champagne arrived before Selina could begin to lecture Harley on the topic of patience, and served as a means of distraction for all three. As if they didn’t already know, the waiter reminded them that the champagne was a gift from ‘Mr. Cobblepot himself’, at which Selina rolled her eyes, while Ivy and Harley seemed to be eyeing the waiter and the champagne, respectively.

“To Harley”, Ivy said when they were on their own again, “may you keep defying all odds and make it through another year.”

Harley processed her friend’s statement for a few seconds before she slowly began to glare at her.

“Hey, in our occupational field, every year you don’t die is a year to be thankful for”, Selina was quick to jump in when she could feel the tension rising. There was no way to avoid the topic in the end; she knew that. Both Harley and Ivy loved to bring it up, albeit for very different reasons. Yet Selina was thankful for every minute they didn’t have to talk about Harley’s questionable choice of a boyfriend.

She saw how Harley shot their redheaded friend an unsure look, a slight frown visible on her forehead.

“That’s what I meant”, Ivy was quick to say, even though her eyes spoke differently, and the frown on the blonde’s face vanished again, just as quickly as it had appeared.

“May we all live to be eighty”, Harley giggled instead, and raised her glass even further.

“Count me out”, Selina grumbled, “if I ever end up being a vegetable only kept alive by machines, please do me a favor and kill me.”

“Kitty!” Harley gasped.

“Anytime”, Ivy said and raised her glass along with Harley’s.

“Ya do know birthday toasts are supposed to be _uplifting_ , right?”

“Cheers”, was all Selina had to add to the topic, and nobody could think of a reason to object.

“Can I open my presents now?”

Selina grinned and finally reached into her bag to pull out a neatly giftwrapped box.

“Happy birthday” she said while Harley grabbed her long desired present and examined it carefully. Shaking it slightly, she lifted the box to her ears, obviously hoping the sounds it made when she shook it would give anything away about its content.

“You could just open it, you know”, Ivy said, one eyebrow raised, “it’s not like you _haven’t_ been going crazy about it for the past hour.”

She didn’t need to repeat herself, as Harley had already begun tearing away the blue wrapping paper, revealing a bleak, grey box. Selina watched her carefully as she slowly lifted the lid. She _knew_ she had hit the nail on the head this time, there was no way her friend wouldn’t be excited about what she’d gotten her.

Harley’s eyes lit up as soon as the lid was successfully removed.

“Selina!” she exclaimed, eyes still big, for once abandoning the endearing nickname, “where the hell did ya get this?”

“It was amongst some of my latest loot”, her friend shrugged, “thought you might like it.”

Harley was looking at the necklace in awe. The big, red gemstone was the center of attention; it was coated with what looked like real silver. Selina had definitely stolen something of great worth, and the fact that she had decided to give it to _her_ , flattered Harley more than being given a stolen necklace should.

“It’s so pretty!” she exclaimed as she turned it in her hands and after having looked at the jewelry from every possible side, she reached around her neck to put it on.

“Goes well with your dress”, Selina said while coming to Harley’s aid when she appeared to be struggling with the necklace’s clasp.

“How’s it look?”

“Suits you”, Ivy responded with an appreciative nod while she was busy pulling her own present for Harley out of her bag.

Meanwhile, Harley wrapped her arms around Selina, hugged her tightly and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, Kitty”, she cooed, already slightly tipsy as it appeared, and Selina had to keep herself from laughing about how much of a lightweight her friend was.

Harley was soon distracted again, when Ivy handed her another package, beautifully wrapped in light green paper with a slightly darker bow on top. The blonde could barely contain her excitement as she began unwrapping Ivy’s present, and Selina watched her closely. Ivy hadn’t told her what she was getting Harley; and she was quite curious at this point. When she’d asked the redhead about it, all she’d received had been a cryptic answer of: “You’ll see.” So obviously, Selina figured it had to be something pretty special.

As soon as Harley had ripped the paper off, she blinked at her newly unwrapped gift for a few seconds and then threw Ivy an unsure look.

Selina craned her neck to catch a glimpse at what she had gotten, but all she could see was that it was a book. However, Harley was holding it in an angle that made it impossible for her to read the cover.

“Gee, Red, thanks”, Harley finally mumbled, but she looked like she was about to cry. Selina threw Ivy an inquiring look.

“It’s supposed to be a joke”, Ivy said with a slight eye-roll, as if she was annoyed that Harley was reacting so badly to her gift.

Selina scooted a bit closer. Now she _really_ wanted to know what the hell they were talking about.

“Sure”, Harley replied, now very obviously holding back tears, “very funny.” Her expression betrayed her words though and before Selina could finally read the words on the cover, Harley jumped up and fled the table.

Selina reached for the book and read the title: “ _Taking Back Your Life – Getting out of and Recovering from an Abusive Relationship.”_

She groaned.

“For God’s sake, Ivy, really?!”

“It’s a joke!” the redhead repeated vehemently, “Geez, you’d think Harley of all people would have more of a sense of humor.”

Selina shot Ivy one last disapproving look before she got up from the table to follow Harley. She threw a look over her shoulder to see if Ivy was coming too, but the redhead had her arms crossed in front of her chest and was stubbornly staring at the wall in front of her, so Selina figured she’d have to do this one on her own.

‘Great’, she thought, ‘why do I always have to clean up other people’s messes?’

She pushed open the door to the ladies room, where she hoped to find Harley. When you burst into tears in a club, you usually headed for the restroom, right?

As soon as she entered and could hear stifled sniffles coming from one of the cabins, she knew she’d been right. Carefully, she knocked at the cabin door.

“Harley?”

The only answer she got was a particularly loud sniff.

“Open the door, will you?” Selina said in the most sympathizing voice she could muster, “Ivy didn’t mean it like that.”

Selina was pretty sure however, that Ivy _had_ meant it like that, and she was also sure that Harley knew this as well.

Despite this, the door unlocked and out came a pretty miserable looking Harley. Selina felt a pang of pity at the sight of her, red eyes, the makeup around them slowly dissolving and the corners of her mouth turned downward.

“We both know that’s a lie”, Harley said in a bitter tone, “you should hear some of the things she says from time to time.”

Selina had no response to that, so instead she reached inside her purse for a tissue and began clearing up her friend’s makeup. Harley didn’t resist.

“You know Ivy”, was all she could think of saying, “she just wants the best for you. Even if her methods may seem a little...”

Selina searched for the right word for a few moments.

“-aggressive”, she finally said.

Harley didn’t say anything, and instead began chewing on the inside of her cheek while her friend was still dabbing at her face with the tissue. It was then that Selina was sure that something else was up – she’d already suspected it before. Harley had reacted _particularly_ bad to Ivy’s gift, even though by now she’d have to be used to the redhead’s continuous criticism of her relationship.

She lowered the tissue and looked at Harley’s sad face for a few moments.

“He forgot, didn’t he?” she finally asked and Harley’s head shot up.

“Huh?”

“He forgot your birthday”, she repeated and Harley’s face left no doubt that she’d hit the nail on the head.

“Well”, she began quietly, “he’s very busy these days, y’know, and there’s always tomorrow; who says he won’t remember then-“

“Come on”, Selina groaned, “who in their right mind forgets their girlfriend’s birthday?”

Harley looked like she was about to cry again.

“Not to say that he’s in his right mind in any way”, Selina added.

“He remembered last year”, Harley said defensively, “and he has a lot on his mind; I can’t expect him to think of everything all the time.”

Selina rolled her eyes.

“Look”, she said, putting both her hands on Harley shoulders, “I’m not saying that Ivy’s present wasn’t tasteless, because it totally was. But come on, Harls. You can do so much better.”

When Harley didn’t respond and avoided her gaze, Selina drew her hands back, throwing them up in what looked like surrender.

“I’m not telling you how to live your life though.”

That coaxed a slight smile out of Harley and Selina thought she saw a flash of thankfulness on the blonde’s face.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Harley then said and even though Selina was already imagining the worst, she nodded.

“Could’ya maybe not tell Red that... y’know, that he forgot? She probably wouldn’t let that go for the rest of the night. Please?”

Harley was looking at her with such pleading puppy dog eyes that Selina had no other choice than to agree.

Just moments later, the door to the restroom opened and Ivy entered, looking less defensive than before, maybe even a tad guilty.

Harley tensed up slightly, but as soon as she saw that the look on her friend’s face was a rather sympathetic one, she eased up again.

“I’m sorry Harley, okay?” Ivy said with a sigh, and Selina could see that it was taking quite a toll on her to admit her mistake, “the gift was uncalled for and I should have known it would upset you.”

“Thanks, Red”, Harley smiled and took a few steps forward, ready to give her a hug.

“You do know my stance on your so-called relationship though”, Ivy was quick to say while she kept Harley at bay for a moment, “I wouldn’t mind if you actually kept that book.”

“Oh, shut up”, Harley retorted, but it sounded affectionate and soon the two friends were in each other’s arms again.

“Well”, Selina said, “I hate to interrupt the big reconciliation, but I for one do not want to spend the rest of our evening in the ladies room.”

She looked at her watch.

“Harley’s birthday is going to be over in an hour, so we better make the best of it.”

As they pushed open the restroom door, Harley was already giggling again, and Selina inwardly patted herself on the back for her excellent crisis averting skills.

“Also, I don’t know about you, but I could go for a glass of champagne right now. Or three.”

 

The Joker didn’t remember Harley’s birthday this year, but he remembered Valentine’s Day a few months later and Harley was over the moon for at least five days.

Ivy got Harley a new gift after seeing that the original one had been rather unappreciated, and surprised her friend with a wonderful self made perfume a few days later.

And Selina was just happy that for the next three months there were no important birthdays coming up. She didn’t know why, but birthday parties always left her with a mighty need for a bubble bath and a ten hour nap.

**Author's Note:**

> Drafted and written entirely around the idea that Ivy would definitely get Harley one of these books at some point.


End file.
